Lighten Up

Moments ago, I had a not so happy encounter with a lesbian couple in my office. I had just finished signing a lease with a new tenant and, as I bid him farewell, a nondescript young woman entered my office to take a look at vacant studios. As I began my speech, a dubiously coiffed, hipster girl rounded the corner from the waiting room, posted up next to the other woman and stared daggers at me.

"Are you two together," I asked more to save myself the time of giving the same speech twice and less to out them as a couple.

"Yeah... so..." she snarled in my direction.

Taken aback, I replied that I was only trying to save a few breaths and get them out of the office efficiently so I could go back to the episode of 30 Rock paused on Hulu. Despite my geniality, all that was returned was a scoff and a pair of rolled eyes.

I'm not the type of person who gives two tits and a cunt or two balls and a cock if you're gay or not. I'm not even the type who says "do what you want to behind closed doors". For real; kiss, hold hands, fingerblast and rusty trombone when and wherever the hell you please. What I do care about is you coming into my place of business with a chip on your shoulder flipping me attitude because your tiny little brain is trained to take offense at EVERYTHING.

I'm sorry you've been dealt a tough hand in life by being the vast minority when it comes to all things sexual. All I ask is that you unsaddle all of that pent up aggression and hostility at the proper time and on the appropriate party. Shit, let me know the time and place and I'll come and show my support (I loves me some angry red staters and Bible beaters) for your right to fuck whomever you so please.

I'll never change my belief that everyone deserves a fair shake regardless of their orientation much the same as I'll never change my belief that if you're an asshole, you can go fuck yourself. No matter who you are, always follow the golden rule and treat others as you want to be treated.